graceful midlife crisis

"I have to tell you, I am not amused. Your shenanigans. Your little games. I no longer find pleasure in them. I did, once, I admit. But now it has simply become irritating. Grating. Tiresome. So, knock it off. Stop following me around. Perhaps, it is time for a change of scenery. Perhaps, you would be happier . . . somewhere else. Perhaps . . . you should go. I'm not telling you what to do. God forbid. I have not the audacity for such a bold act. Let us consider this a little friendly advice . . . between old friends. You wouldn't like to disappoint an old friend, would you? Of course, you wouldn't. Then we are in agreement. It is time to end this little experiment. Now each of us may go about our merry business unfettered. It is my most sincere concern that you comply with my wishes. It would be a shame if you chose . . . to do otherwise. Truly. A shame."

CW expert say

The buzz around campus is allowing for a wider interpretation of the message, and rumors and theories are flying like bullets. One anonymous graduate student has claimed that his current ire may stem from the recent 25th anniversaries celebration surrounding the Star Wars franchise and his loss of the role of Han Solo to Harrison Ford. "I mean Harrison Ford can't even tap dance. It's possible that this is what has been eating at him for the past 25 years."

snape for prime minister!!!!

"i kick ass even without a wand" - severus snape

Shark Week (Discovery)

i bought this 4 DVD sets for like 20 bucks at fry's. i don't remember being that excited over purchase at fry's since i first bought mace. and i was absolutely right. this dvd's got everything...sharks, australians, ocean, dinosaurs, fossils, jelly fish, blood, Australian blood, paramedic, french scientist, shark bites, devoured seals, and more sharks. even if you're not into sharks, if that's even possible, i'd still think this is the best thing that can happen to you. when you feel like you want to laugh, you can watch documentary style sharkbite episode and laugh, if you wanna feel smart, you can watch the australian scientist talk about prehistoric sharks in the middle of nowhere (in shorts, nonetheless), or if you're just having crappy day, you can watch great white chopping baby seal into half. *precaution- might affect your appetite, not such a great pick for dinner, but great to play while you're having sex as a mood enhancer..... with someone or by yourself. -hjr

score: A "great documentary that will eventually bring a family closer"

wow...i guess i don't quite see the beauty as hjr does. sharkweek is cool, dont get me wrong, but i think it's as good to watch while eating as for having sex. this show is definitely for the underwater enthusiast, the blood and gore sort who loves to see decimation and destruction. while i love the nerdy documentary aspect of the series...makes up for the lack of attention i paid in 6th grade biology... well, it's not something i'd like to watch over and over and over. maybe just over and over. can't complain about the deal tho...you get something like 30 episodes in one sharkpunch. not too shabby. and it definitely will bring the family closer together, with cries of "eewwww, gross" and "eekkk, i can't believe he did that!" just don't watch this with anyone who is very squeamish, you might see what they had for lunch. - bri

score: C+ "educational romp with gory visuals"

UPDATE : our conversation about this review...

HJR: HEY!!!!

WHAT THE FUCK!!!

BRI: ?

5:04 PM HJR: I SAID WRITE REVIEW
NOT TRASH SHARKWEEK!

BRI: i'm not aloud to disagree with you?

hahahahahahahahaha

HJR: :'(

BRI: i didnt trash it

HJR: it's not me crying

BRI: besides, you picked movies to write reviews on

HJR: it's shark in everyone's heart crying

BRI: hahahahahahaha

wow....you just yelled at me over the world wide web

5:05 PM sharks are hearty enough creatures

they'll live on

HJR: yah

that's what they all say

it's ok

they'll live

BRI: whatever

5:06 PMyou picked the movies

HJR: obviously you have no idea what happens to a school of sharks after jaws movie

BRI: your favorites

HJR: everyone think it's ok

BRI: grrrg

HJR: cz, yeah, afterall, it's shark

YOU JUST HAVEN'T THOUIGHT ABOUT WHAT THAT MIGHT D TO JUVENILE SHARKS

BRI: i'm, not advocating shark genocide

5:07 PM or even shark abuse

just simply saying sharkweek isnt my favorite thing to watch

HJR: one of my friend, shark, great white, he stop going to school after 5th grade

cuz he was like,

dude, you know, that was my dad in the jaws movie

and i think people know

and he was like

crying his eyes out to his dad

goes like

"you movie shark whore"

BRI: i'd be embarrassed too if my dad were an actor

5:08 PM HJR: "go eat humans as you like"

last i saw him

he was saying

"shark might have fin, but we have feelings too

BRI: so dont show him my review

5:09 PM or do...he'd probably agree with my assessment of the series as glamorizing shark hunting and shark attacks

shark week doesnt advance the place of sharks in society you know

5:10 PM it does more harm than good for those poor sharks, who now have to deal with the stereotypes perpetrated on them by discovery channel documentarians who are no better than armchair anthropologists

5:11 PM HJR: hahahaha

Live Free or Die Hard

i don't know why but i find more joy out of writing something i don't like rather than something i like, or agree with. and i thought this movie sucks balls. i complained while watching until i finally fell asleep peacefully. then i woke up again and start talking crap about this movie again. so i can say with a real passion i did not enjoy this movie. seriously, only thing i remember about this movie (it has been approximately 72 hours) is that the guy shot himself. maybe i expected too much, but all the cliche - asian chick with kung fu and endless grunting and moaning. and yes, the daughter comes out alive and falls for the nerdy guy. i don't feel too bad about ruining the movie for anyone because there's nothing to be ruined about other than explosion and other loud things of that nature. although, i want to watch the rated version to see what's so different about unrated and rated. it's a movie with bruce willis, what'd you mean rated? -hjr

score: C- "mindless action with usual explosion"

i'm not sure what i expected, the usual crap i suppose. i was neither impressed nor disappointed by this movie, to say it was bad would be redundant, to say it wasn't bad would be passive aggressive. it was a die hard...what else can i say? maybe it's because i like my movies with more plot than action. to be perfectly honest tho, i can't even say i hated it...this movie met my expectations superbly. bruce willis kicked ass, and once again brought humanity back from the bring of destruction. i think a better example of this general formula would be 12 monkeys...but thats because terry gilliam is a god among directors (tho i havent seen brothers grimm, so dont try throwing that in my face as an example of his slide into mediocrity.) if you want to turn your brain off for a bit and be dazzled by explosions and impossible looking stunts (oh the wonders of cgi!) rent live free die hard, or die hard with a vengence, or transformers, or war of the worlds....or any other big budget action movie. they are all the same anyways. - bri

score : C "average take on an average story in an average genre"

Pan's Labyrinth

well, yeah. everyone was really psyched about this movie..... and i didn't watch it for good half year after the release. i don't know, but i think people loved it so much because they weren't expecting it? it's not a bad movie, it's just, i don't know, too serious? were those gores really necessary or was giamo del toro trying to show what the real fantasy should be like? and the story itself wasn't so unique either. visually, yeah..... it's just..... too depressing. i think giamo del toro should study drunken boxing. -hjr





score: c "enchantingly depressing snuff film" (hjr)

King Of Hong Kong

hollywood killed jackie chan. then again, he is not the first nor the last.